The Poo List

something to listen 2 while u read this post

I thought this deservd mention on my blog and i wanted a copy to refer bak 2 on rainy days.. however horrific it may be, it should b passed on & on til 4evr and a day:~

GHOST POO : You know you've pooed. There is poo on the toilet paper but nonein the toilet.
TEFLON COATED POO : Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't even feel it. No trace of poo on the toilet paper, you have to look in the toilet to besure you did it.
GOOEY POO : This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe 12 time and you stilldon't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underpants so youdon't stain them. This poo leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.
SECOND THOUGHT POO : You're all done wiping and about to stand up when you realise it,you've got some more.
POP A VEIN VEIN IN YOUR FOREHEAD POO : This is the kind of poo that killed Elvis. It doesn't want to comeout until you're all sweaty, trembling, and purple from straing so hard.
WEIGHT WATCHERS POO : You poo so much that you loose several kilograms.
RIGHT NOW POO : You better be within 30 seconds of a toilet. You burn rubbergetting there. Usually, it has its head out before tou get your pants down.
KING KONG POO : This one is so big that you know it won't go down the tiolet unlessyou break it into smaller chunks. A wire coat hanger works well. This kindof poo usually happens at someone elses house.
CORK POO : ( Also known as a floater.) Even after the third flush, it's still floating in the bowel.My god. How do I get rid of it ??
WET CHEEKS POO : This poo hits the water sideways and makes a big splash that getsyou all wet.
WISH POO : You sit there all cramped up for a few minutes, but no poo.
CEMENT BLOCK POO : You wish that you'd gotten a spinal block before you pooed.
SNAKE POO : This poo is fairly soft, about as thick as your thumb, and at leastthree feet long.
MEXICAN FOOD POO : ( Also called the screamer.) You know it's okay to eat again when your bum stops burning.
BEER DRUNK AND MEAT PIE POO : This happens the day after the night before. Normally yourpoos don't smell too bad, but this one is BAD !!. Usually thishappens at someone elses house and there is someone standing outsidethe door waiting to use the bathroom.

So print out a million copies and paste them on the doors of public toilet cubicles. Before long the world shall b filld wi laughter on the can

we're past the hump

wel its lyk past the middle point of the yr and i hav so much 2 do!!
this yr has gone so sloooow.. yet i havnt done much..
week 2's almost finishd and we hav internal due in wk 4, mock exams wk 7.. and i hav 2 do 10 hours piano lesson observation b4 i can start teachin!
then i hav the acct internal starting day aftr tmr.. but thatll b peasy just really boring..
then thers my japanese convo which i hav2 memorise [which is not that easy cuz u hav 2 think of all the fkin possibilities!] and call the weird correspondence teacher..
i oso hav 2 read 3 mor books and write reviews on them.. zzzzzzzz...
hate reading.. well. dont really hate it~ jst too lazy..
and 2 top all o' tat off. i hav a pimple in the middle of my forehead..
i hav 2 deal wi all tis crap most of which i dont giv a shit abt except they wil affect the crap i do care about.. which is so stupid cuz i care abt absolutely NOTHING save 3 things

1. getting a car wi flippy headlights blak/white
2. buildin a business and bcome filthy stinkin rich
3. doin the least amount of work possible 2 get all this

o rite and i also wana move out and rent a flat.. make it on my own.. widou anyone tellin me wat 2 do.. and if my business bcomes influential enuf.. ill take over the world and make it a better place cuz all those otha idiots jst dont got the brains 2 do it

my top 10 music chart JULY 2006

these things outdate faster than flares..bt here r some cochlea tingling tracks... the order may b a little muddled bt its about rite..

10. our song- goodnight nurse
9. apathetic way to be- relient k
8. white trash- steriogram
7. pump it- black eyed peas
6. lights and sounds- yellowcard
5. cheer up- reel big fish
4. fat lip- sum 41
3. i write sins not tragedies- panic! at the disco
2. dance dance- fall out boy
1. make damn sure- taking back sunday

Chapter 10: cartoon phases

o man its bn a while since i bought sumthn..other than food.. forgot how good it felt! we actually set out 2 buy bday presents but then ther was a "nothing over 30" sale @ Shanton so we put that on hold.. i wasnt actually quite sure @the time bt im quite proud of my purchase now..$24.95 n its got a strap inside so i can swap it 2 a long strap if i feel lyk it!


but i thot its about time i had anotha chapter.. or im neva gona finish this..
cartoons.. ill bet ther isnt a person in the world who has never lykd cartoons..wel except 4 the ppl who cant afford TVs.. my condolences2 u guys..bt 4 me i had a few actual obsessions

1. SAILOR MOON

i used 2 get up early every morn 2 wach it .. wen i 1st moved 2 the motel in chch.. i think it probably helped me learn english.. and well lets not 4get fashion sense..

i lykd the pink one.. but then after a while i thot the brown one wit the green skirt was prettier..

2. POKEMON

O Man this was not a small obsession.. i had the game.. the small figures.. the book..favourites.. the CD.. the song lyrics in my head..man they wer awesome.. my favourite was arcanine..the fastest one.. n it was lyk a huge ass dog thing..#59.. it was perfect.. 5/9.. my birthday.. and that is the origin of my fav. number.

3. DIGIMON

this was lyk... during the pokemon phase.. and some of my frends had a problem wi dat.. cuz they both end wi "mon" so its lyk the same.. except totally different! in digimon u get one buddy that can talk.. in pokemon.. u can hav as many as u want bt they can only say their names.. which is cute bt boring..my fav.. gatomon..

a thot frm the pool of intelligence that is mine.

if u wer sittin on the toilet all day.. n u had a tank of water bside u.. hw much wud u hav 2 drink continuously b4 u cud pee continuously?

i was thnkin of this cuz im sick [not my mind~my health[and agen nt my mental health]].. n wen ur sick i dont think u can hold ur water in vry well.. cuz i was thirsty all day n i jst kept drinkin bt lyk i had 2 pee every ad break!

on another note i baked peanut butter cookis!
it was 4 ames' send-off..but i missd it cuz i was sick!
i oso misd a dinner ~bt tat was jst wi fam frends.. bt my frend was ther 2..
n misd my frends bday as well..
bt its quite cold here widou a fever..